Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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