Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
