he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My dick has a subreddit
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
