Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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