I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
