Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
