You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
