I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
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dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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