none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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