Don't make out with my wife yet
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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