She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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