i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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