I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
