He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
