hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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