Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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