Pants 0. Shit 1.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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