Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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