You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
