Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
