So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
