I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
