What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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