question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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