her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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