saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
