i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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