Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
