Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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