Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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