Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
