Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
