it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
