also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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