Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and she was petting her beer can
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i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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