Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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