The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize