It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
