Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
