I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
