yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
