i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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