yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
