My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
