I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
