I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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