So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
