I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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