I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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