No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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