it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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