The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
