Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
