Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
