she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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