omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
