A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
