Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
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Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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