just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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