Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
