Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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