All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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