you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
