All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
